The Worst Was Yet To Come

It would be hard to make this story up. I’m not sure what was more shocking, the events that took place at the Serenity Funeral Home (Berwick, Nova Scotia), or what little effort it took to turn the true account into a song that satirizes in the grand old wordy style of Island song making.

The Worst Was Yet To Come

The husband stood beside the box The coffin lid so firmly locked His teary face as white as chalk But the worst was yet to come… Two fellas bent to lift the lid And lying there so cold and dead An angel on a satin bed… But the worst was yet to come The worst was yet to come An angel on a satin bed But the worst was yet to come

The husband stared then shook his head This lady’s not my wife he said The one with whom I shared my bed But the worst was yet to come… This one I see is far too thin As slender as a mannequin My dearest had a double chin… But the worst was yet to come The worst was yet to come My dearest had a double chin But the worst was yet to come

Their faces turned all doom and gloom They wheeled the casket from the room And said they’d be returning soon But the worst was yet to come… Then wheeling in at half past three Apologizing profusely A fresh new corpse for him to see… But the worst was yet to come The worst was yet to come A fresh new corpse for him to see But the worst was yet to come

The husband said I know this dress The one she called her Sunday best But this is not my wife at rest But the worst was yet to come… Despite the dress you’ve stuffed her in This lady’s far too masculine For I see hairs upon her chin… But the worst was yet to come The worst was yet to come For I see hairs upon her chin But the worst was yet to come

They weren’t so swift in their return And this time with an ash filled urn It seems that her remains were burned But the worst was yet to come… The husbands anger grew and grew For all the grief you’ve put me through It seems that I’ll be forced to sue… But the worst was yet to come The worst was yet to come It seems that I’ll be forced to sue But the worst was yet to come

And now at home in fading health Feeling sorry for himself Though he has come into some wealth They paid him off to shut his mouth But now his wife sits on the shelf And so the worst has come And so the worst has come His wife sits there upon the shelf And so the worst has come